Best sex tips every gay needs to know

Written by: zuzurnetra

Let's face it: what happens in heterosexual relationships is different from what goes beneath the duvets for gay couples. And if we're being honest, almost every one of us has tried to Google how to up their sex game- this is a perfectly natural thing to do. There's always a misconception that gay men are ready to drop their trousers anytime they see a hottie. But this is a stereotype that sexualizes gay men just with their penises.

Besides, the social-political injustices prevent gay men from exploring their sexual abilities to the fullest. Truth be told, we all learn new things through trial and error. And it's this kind of experience that makes us confident in what we do. Sometimes, we tend to think that we've mastered the art, but there's always room for improvement. In this post, I've culled four gay sex tips to help you take your love life to the next level.

 

Sex tip for `tops'

If you're the penetrator, then you are in charge of the sexual journey.

1. Have some serious foreplay

When you do a good job, you'll be rewarded with an exhilarating love. We've all been there, and we just want to get to the game. But this can be a costly mistake. If you want him to feel comfortable, you should take your time before you make the grand entrance. While a quickie can he hot, you want to keep the whim-bam moments to a minimum. Of course, nothing can be more frustrating to your lover than finding out that the moment only lasted for two minutes.

So, what's the purpose of foreplay? It stimulates the entire body. This is done by exploring the erroneous zones. One way to do this is teasing his anus with your dick, and he will be begging you to mount on him. When you stimulate him to the max, you'll have a great time.

 

Then, you should enter and ask him how he feels. Be sure to go slow and apply more lube if need be. Also, you should monitor his reactions as you thrust to ensure he's having pleasure. When you switch up positions, you should repeat the same process. It's worth mentioning that more lubrication can spice things up. 

Gay sex tip for `bottoms'

While most bottoms like to be pounded hard in `doggy style', you should start slow. This is where you make him see you as a champion. At its worst, bottoming can be very painful. So, if you're just starting your bottoming journey, here is the basic tip to follow.

2. Be an active participant

Sometimes, penetration from this angle may feel harder but gives the best stimulation. Just like the top, you have to be an active participant. First, you must keep those hands busy. Whether it's clutching those sheets, pulling him deeper, or squeezing his ass, make sure you're damn busy. You can also take the lead in foreplay activities by masturbating his dick, licking his ass, or caressing his body. Your goal should be to arouse him such that he can't wait to get to bed with you.

The most important thing when having anal sex is relaxation. If he's not relaxed, the anal muscles will tense and he will feel the pain. With this in mind, you should pay special attention to the body (whether it's relaxed or not). But this doesn't mean that you should be overly adventurous.

How about finding the perfect dirty talk balance? For this to happen, you must know your partner well. Some guys love dirty talk while others hate it. Therefore, you should say words like you mean it.

The anal doesn't produce lube, and this is very important in foreplay. If you don't use some, you could destroy his bottom. You should only use water or silicone-based lube. If you can't slot into a nice sexual grove, then you should mimic the style of your sexual partner. 

Gay sex tip for `first-timers'

 

The first gay sexual experience is never easy. You must adjust your mind to what you're just about to do. If you're not careful, you could leave lasting scars as you start this important milestone. This is what sets the tone for the rest of your sexual activities in days to come.

 

3. Don't mimic what you see in `gay porn'

Maybe you've heard things like a better orgasm, better sex, or even a better gay relationship. If you think watching gay porn will help you express your deepest desires, then you're wrong. Maybe you want to have the longest ejaculations or a gigantic cock like the one you see in the movies - all these are fantasies. You'll be surprised there's no single clip that shows how gay sex looks like.

Instead of using porn to educate yourself, you should work with an educator for the best tips. More specifically, you can read books like ` Manual for Men Who Love Men' or `Joy for Gay Sex'. These are good introductory books that will give you the basics as well as the best practices. When you're into gay sex, you'll see a lot of terminologies coming up. Don't be surprised if you see words like a top, bottom, bear, pig, etc.

If you rely on the internet, you'll find a lot of misinformation that will take you in the wrong direction. But when you get accurate information, you'll feel ready, and you'll meet all the prerequisites before you try. Another important tip is that you should not just let your man do the thing as you lie down. It can be helpful if you rehearse one or two things before you get to the action.

The most important tip is to be emotionally ready. Remember, you'll have a clear identity to show the world. As you embark on this adventurous journey, you must also be ready to tackle the challenges. Secondly, you must wait until you have a safe space to practice sex. Take time to know your partner. This is where you bring assertive communication and discuss things like sexual preferences and need, STI status, etc.

There're times when you need to use a condom. While this may seem counterintuitive, it's rewarding if you're a first-timer. The last thing you want after a sexual encounter is drama and health problems down the road.

First-time gay sex may not be perfect- you may feel awkward, uncomfortable, or even experience pain. This is why most experts recommend a slow start. It gets better if you can avoid penetrative sex. You can kiss, touch each other, or even do mutual masturbation. Needless to say, oral sex can bring a deeper form of intimacy. Even if you've been waiting a long time for a pleasurable experience, you should take things at a slow pace.

If you mimic what you see in gay porn, you're going to make mistakes. Also, you may fall prey trusting the wrong people, and you could develop unreciprocated feelings. Still, your heart could get broken. But don't be afraid. When you make the mistakes now, you'll be well prepared going forward. It won't be easy, but you'll learn some important lessons in life. 

Gay sex tip for couples

When you first started gay dating, maybe you felt like you couldn't control yourself. No one for sure knows what will happen if you're a new couple. You may feel too insecure or uncomfortable. But great sex doesn't just happen - you must work hard to get the best of both worlds. If you're fully committed to a gay relationship, you'll have intimate connections and years of sexual satisfaction.

 

4. Diversify your sex life

 

If your gay sex partner can anticipate what he expects next, the relationship could be filled with boredom. And believe it or not, the last thing you want is a fizzled sexual chemistry. One way of diversifying your sex life is by trying different positions. This will not only help try different positions or add interest to lovemaking. The idea is to put your partner in a position of wondering what is coming next. This requires a lot of creativity, but it's well worth it.

Apart from mixing sexual positions, you can try having sex in different places. You can even plan for a date- there're limitless possibilities. Another common mistake is focusing on only one technique. To create intimacy during sex, you should show up at the moment and embrace each other.

The whole idea of diversifying your gay sex is building a strong connection. You could attend a couple's retreat, go shopping together, or even play card games. And don't just have sex in the bedroom- you can try in the living room or even outdoors. Of course, you can use different body languages without being overly blunt.

What's more, you can read erotic novels or even write your own. If you want to take your sexual intimacy to a level you've never imagined, you should be the author of your own sexual story. Perhaps a good place to start is by reading a good gay book like `Gay Man's Karma Sutra'. 

It's time you create your own sexual Journey

 

Your sexual journey must align with your values. Some of the things you must learn is talking about your sexuality and creating a path towards a fulfilling sex life. While most guys look at their lives in a sexual context, there're a few things they can add to their arsenal. Also, you should not pressure yourself to do anything you're not comfortable with. If you're patient, you can discover your needs and wants.

 

What other sex tips would you like to share?